Lifestyle

3 Dangerous Mistakes Women make with Men

 

By: Alex Lafrentz

Living in a love-sick society that consists of married couples, over-sentimental creatures, overzealous parents, and lovey-dovey giggly teeny boppers, it is not surprising that the subject of dating and “finding the right one” is what literally dominates nearly every conversation we have. If we aren’t mourning another date gone horribly wrong and the sheer absurdity of 21st-century dating rituals, we are receiving another wedding invitation from friends who have ultimately found the “right one” and have finally decided to get hitched.

Every book we read, every movie we watch, and every Hollywood poster we see seems to always beg us to wait for it . . . the inevitable cliffhanger . . . the mystery prize behind door number three . . . the ever-glorious “right one.” Legend has it that this one true love will ultimately “complete” us and finally give us the happy ending that we’ve been searching for all our lives.

The only problem is, sometimes we get so focused on finding that one person that can give us “happily ever after” that we fail to read the signals. We fail to distinguish the ones who are interested in us from the ones who aren’t. Or from the ones that are the real deal to the ones that are simply just a phase.

To be honest, I’ve had my fair share of heartbreaks and dating disasters myself. Sometimes, I just get so perturbed with the dating scene as a whole that I literally end up pulling out strands of hair one by one in sheer frustration. And amidst all the hair-pulling, nail-biting, and sooking, here’s one absolute truth that I’ve come up with: dating in the 21st century is way different from how dating was in the previous century. Dating has gravely mutated from an era of poetic chivalry to an era of fast-paced, high-energy, no strings attached random hook-ups.

Now let me enumerate three of the most common yet deadly mistakes women make with men.

Mistake number one: most women still expect every single man they meet to be Mr. Chivalrous.

Here’s a newsflash for you ladies: have you actually noticed that the days of chivalry have been thrown out of the door?

Stop pretending that you haven’t noticed, of course, you have.

Now unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past ten years and haven’t quite noticed it, then let me get you up to speed by asking this very simple question: when was the last time you saw a man publicly wooing a woman through fancy poetry and love letters?

Fancy poetry and love letters belong to the medieval period. A period of chivalry, gallantry, and poetic sonnets. A time of midnight serenades, flowery poems, and gut-wrenching love letters.

Guess what? It’s not the medieval period anymore. DUH.

I realize that this is hard to accept . . . but you just have to get over it. Because until you accept this blatant fact you’ll never be completely satisfied with any man you ever encounter.

Another reason why women fail with men is that they read too many romance novels.

It’s quite obvious that the dating scene is not how it used to be. We’re now living in the digital era: an era of speed-dating, online dating, Facebooking and Instagramming.

Whilst conventional methods such as meeting men through friends top the list of the most popular choices for meeting prospective partners, women are now in fact increasingly logging on to get a date.

Here’s a typical dating scenario in the 21st century: a couple might begin with a drunken make out in a club or party, which is then followed by a phone number swap over. From there, it usually progresses to the “hooking up” stage, and if that “clicks,” they then proceed to establish a relationship.

I know it’s probably not as romantic as how your veteran grandma used to describe things to you, but unfortunately, that’s how it is in this day and age. Not to sound harsh, but if you’re incapable or reluctant to see beyond the shallow delights of corny clichéd romantic situations, then I suggest that you bitch slap yourself to get a reality check.

Call me tough love Taylor.

Now, do you know the most important reason why women fail with men?

Drum roll please . . . It’s because they “don’t get it.” Or they simply refuse to “get it.”

Let me be absolutely clear: If a man treats you like he doesn’t give a crap, then trust me, that means he LITERALLY doesn’t give a crap about you.

Sometimes, in a woman’s desire to snag the man of their dreams, they usually tend to overanalyze situations. Even if the answer is staring them straight in the face, women are still somehow programmed to come up with stories in order to make their situation seem better.

What a horrible idea.

See here’s the thing, women are very different from men when it comes to attraction.

Men are logical creatures whilst women on the other hand are emotional creatures. Men are purely black and white. Yes, means yes, and no means no. Therefore, if a man treats you like he doesn’t care about you, then he genuinely doesn’t care about you! Stop justifying his behaviour because you’ll just end up bitterly disappointed since there are no “ifs” and “buts” embedded in our system.

If a man is not calling you, he doesn’t want you. Similarly, if a man gives you his phone number instead of taking yours, then that also means that he doesn’t want you. I don’t care if you had the most wonderful date or even if he said that you’re his favourite woman since his deceased grandma or Jessica Alba. Bottom-line? If a guy wants to hear from you or see you, believe me, he will find a way to call you or see you.

No, he is not overseas that’s why he couldn’t call. No, he didn’t lose his phone or your phone number. No, his phone wasn’t eaten by his dog nor was he kidnapped by aliens. And NO, he didn’t just get hit by a bus.

If a man is interested in you there should be no excuses, he’ll find a way to be with you – PERIOD.

Here’s something you should always bear in mind: when fate closes a door, it opens a window. Therefore, you should never focus all your attention on a door that’s already been closed; otherwise, you’ll just end up overlooking whoever’s looking through the open window.

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

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