Let’s face it – there are some things you just need to lie about in relationships. Whether it’s executing a surprise picnic or if you did actually manage to source that almost out-of-print edition of Jamie at Home that your partner NEEDED for their birthday. These little white lies help to keep the passion and excitement levels at an electric level in relationships. But what about more serious stuff? What happens when the lies become your assumed truth? Why lie at all?
As adults it should be a case of being able to discuss anything with your lucky lady or gentleman shouldn’t it? Not a matter of having to hide certain truths about yourself in order to keep their attention. Aren’t we all over the high school drama of trying to be ‘cool’? When did it suddenly become more of a lie-ability to be yourself?
First date nerves can be a bit of a grey area. I mean it’s understandable on a first date that you’re nervous and assure your date you would never usually order dessert; that a salad is more than enough to fill you up! Yes, I’m mainly talking to the ladies – all of whom will know that feeling. But the more you get to know someone, the more you’re supposed to let them in to see the real you! Well that’s what I was under the impression of. Apparently not. After talking to a single girl friend of mine, about this very topic she assured me that a lie is sometimes the best thing for a relationship. Shocked by this confession, I asked her to go into more detail.
What I gleaned from our conversation is that sometimes a lie can be the difference between a happy partner and a cranky one. My friend in no way condoned lying about game-changers (cheating, sickness or emotional milestones). But simply said that by not letting her boyfriend be privy to some of the little decisions she made, she felt more independent and strong. She explained that so often in relationships the two parties almost become one. Always making decisions together, even small ones. She explained that she didn’t want this. She wanted to keep her own identity and not become just another ‘we’. After listening to her rant on about other couples who couldn’t decide what type of sandwich to order without consulting the other, I could totally understand and agree with her.
Let me end this little ditty by saying that I am in no way giving permission for every reader to immediately run out and start bs-ing their way through every relationship! No way buddy! However, sometimes a little white lie can be the difference between a explosively horrendous evening and a perfect romantic serenade.
